come away with me

come away with me and we'll kiss
on a mountaintop
come away with me
and I'll never stop loving you

three years ago, michelle and i celebrated our 20th anniversary with a trip to wine country in california. it was absolutely the best week i have ever spent with her. it was magical. the sights were terrific. the food was tremendous. the wine... well, it was napa, you know? c'mon! but beyond all that, it was us. just us. a whole week to focus just on her. over the years, we have taken weekends off together, even long weekends. when you're raising kids, it's tough to get away for a whole week. but the kids were old enough to have a house-sitter, and with cell phones, michelle could check in with them anytime her paranoid mother-radar kicked in. so for a week, it was us. just us. it was like returning to the days of our courtship, those intimate days when my heart was so utterly fulfilled. interestingly, our theme song for that week was come away with me, by norah jones.

after that trip, i swore when we got back that we would take a week off together every year thereafter. 

it hasn't happened...

come away with me in the night
come away with me
and I will write you a song

the past two weeks have been pretty special in my spiritual life. i have been wrestling with creating the sunday talk series for the upcoming months and have had a hard time hearing from God. in addition, i am more convinced than ever that threshold is poised to grow in ways we have not seen before as we more intentionally than ever reach out into the surrounding community and let them know that we are their community church, and i have been talking to God about talking to you guys about all that.

to hear what i knew i needed to hear, i did three things: i hiked. i read erwin mcmanus books. i listened to steven curtis chapman songs. i returned to habits which had so often provided a channel for God's voice in my own past. the last one might seem a bit odd to you if it's not your taste in music (it's not so much mine anymore either). but some of those songs have spoken to me in former days in ways that have me where i am today. it was like listening to old love songs that, while no longer in vogue, penetrate to the heart. you know?

God's word says...

my beloved speaks and says to me: "arise, my love, my beautiful one,
   and come away..." (song of solomon 2:10, esv)

it's from a love song in the scriptures that calls us to spend time away and alone with our God.

in mark 6, Jesus says: 

"come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while."

you know, time away with God isn't just for professional christians. it is a vital part of your life. and not just your religious life, either. your whole life. God created you for an intimate relationship. i know that's a little tough for the guys, since God is so often understood somehow as being male. but like it or not, you have a loving God. a God who created you for intimacy and wants you to come away with him. for his joy and delight, yes, but also because you have important decisions to make. decisions you ought not make alone - especially when you have the ultimate omni-everything God of creation completely there for you. but sometimes, you are never gonna hear him if you don't do something different. if you don't pull away and focus only on him.

so... when's it gonna happen? and what does it look like? think back to the times when you are certain that you had heard from God in a way that fulfilled your heart. what were you doing? what were you reading? what were you listening to? what brought you face to face with God and had you in a place that was magical?

go there again.

i can tell by the way you walk...

last week on a drive to wilmington, jake and i were discussing a story found in genesis 32. it's the story of another jake - jacob, actually - who wrestled with an angel by the banks of the jabbok river one night.

he was on his way to meet his brother esau, whom he hadn't seen in many years. when they were younger men, jacob had deceived his brother and stolen his birthright, giving him all the advantages of being the firstborn son in the ancient world, even though esau had been born first. jacob was a conniver and on this lonely night, his past was about to catch up with him.

the rest of his entourage, had gone on across the river to camp for the night, but jacob remained behind, alone, to sort out his future. he figured it was time to fess up and get honest with God. little did he know how painful it would be...

here's how the bible tells it:

Jacob stayed behind by himself, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he couldn't get the best of Jacob as they wrestled, he deliberately threw Jacob's hip out of joint.  

The man said, "Let me go; it's daybreak."  

Jacob said, "I'm not letting you go 'til you bless me."

The man said, "What's your name?"

He answered, "Jacob."

The man said, "But no longer. Your name is no longer Jacob. From now on it's Israel (God-Wrestler); you've wrestled with God and you've come through."

Jacob asked, "And what's your name?"

The man said, "Why do you want to know my name?" And then, right then and there, he blessed him.

Jacob named the place Peniel (God's Face) because, he said, "I saw God face-to-face and lived to tell the story!"

The sun came up as he left Peniel, limping because of his hip.

the parallels and application of jacob's experience to our own are interesting.

1. first, now that jacob stopped to consider his future in light of his past, he found himself alone and wrestling. how many times have you or i done the same? to proceed ahead in life in a way that is worth living, sometimes it's vital to get alone and process, to reflect and repent. no doubt jacob was feeling remorse for the way he had duped his brother, especially knowing he would face him in the morning. he wisely chose to face his memories and his future alone. but i wonder if he knew how difficult the evening would be.

2. at the beginning of the story, we're told that jacob wrestles with a man. by the end, we learn that it was actually God himself. i think it's fair to say that this wrestling match was clearly a 'come clean with God' experience. 

i have these fairly often. i screw up enough to have to wrestle with God more often than i would like. but this spiritual battling is often the only way i can go on in a way that makes any sense. what about you?

3. before jacob can let this ancient WWF match go, he demands to know the name and see the face of his opponent - kind of like wanting to take the mask off nacho libre. he refuses to let go and says, "bless me and tell me your name." jacob had to be sure that it wasn't his mind playing tricks on him. this was serious stuff. fighting through his past and his future required the presence of no one but God.

i know how he feels. sometimes in my wrestling, i wonder if i'm just playing mind games with myself, or if satan has once again wormed his way into my sub-conscious. that's why i find it key to take my stuff to God in prayer, and to test his responses with his Word. if you are fighting spiritual battles without prayer and your bible, you're gonna lose more than a hip (see next paragraph).

4. the heavyweight event ends with two things that will change jacob's life for the rest of his days. first, God changes his name to Israel, which means, "you wrestled with God and hung in there." secondly, jacob's hip is knocked out of the socket and he never fully recovers. he can still walk, but the limp is noticeable. 

if God gave you a nickname, what would it be? would you be willing to be known by it for the rest of your life? is it noble enough, or is it pretty putzy? and what about your gait? can people tell by the way you walk that you have striven with God for the things that matter?

i hope the next time you stop to consider your future in the light of your past, you'll remember ol' jacob. follow his lead. struggle with your God. be willing to be changed. walk differently.

no pain, no gain.

20 years of shepherding

on june 5, 1988, i became a shepherd.

on that day - 20 years ago today - i knelt before an auditorium filled with hundreds of people as a group of pastors laid their hands on me and ordained me into the ministry of the church. as i sit here now, reflecting on these past 20 years, i am overcome with emotion. even before God began the amazing feat of creating the universe, he not only chose me to enter his kingdom, he chose me to lead his people into the knowledge of his love and grace. there is truly no higher honor.

over the years, i have rejoiced with angels when ordinary people just like me have said yes to the invitation of Jesus and allowed him to be lord and savior of their lives.  i have celebrated with young parents as they have brought their precious infants and children to the waters of baptism and made vows to raise their children to know the Lord. i have led young couples through the saying of other sacred vows in marriage. i have stood at bedsides and watched people - the very old and the way too young - slip from this world into the next. i have laughed and cried with hundreds of different individuals through the joys and the sorrows of life.

there have been moments when i have hated ministry and almost walked away. but there have been far more of them when i have felt that i am the most privileged man in the world. 

this very moment is one of those.

for the past six years, i have shepherded a church - a group of Christ-followers - who understand what Jesus had in mind when he called the church into existence. these amazing people - you who together call yourselves THRESHOLD - have loved me, accepted me, allowed me to be vulnerable and transparent. but more importantly, you have followed my lead. in these past six years, i have understood more fully than ever before what it means to follow Jesus. and i have tried harder than ever before to do just that. and you have walked with me. sometimes behind me, more often beside me. and together, we have experienced the tremendous sovereign grace of almighty God in the most amazing ways.

i sat down today to write some random reflections about the last 20 years - things i have learned and experiences i have had. but i don't want to do that now. to those who love Jesus by my side - you who are called THRESHOLD - i want to write just one thing to each of you and to all of you:

thanks.

i love you more than i can say.